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Back to School Edition

 

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Ahh yes. Back to school time. Even though it’s still hotter than H-E- double toothpicks, we must deflate the pool floats and strap on the backpacks. But before we sprinkle pumpkin spice on everything it’s time to take a hard look at why “back to school” brings such dread to so many. It all starts with clothes, we must brave the mall with moody, picky teenagers who have a specific style yet can only formulate words like “sure” and “I guess so.” 1st graders who can’t find shoes that “feel right.” 4th grade girls who only wear clothes that have so much glitter they could stand at center court while Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles volley for serve. 

With that said, I actually enjoy some things about back to school. My life becomes structured, the schedule is like a warm blanket for me. Freedom for 6 hours in the middle of the day to write, go to the gym, or clean the house without a mess being made simultaneously. And schools have made it easier with supplies shopping, as they are now mailed directly to the classroom. But even with these luxuries there are some things I don’t like about school today. I say today because it didn’t feel like this when I was a kid. The level of involvement parents have in their Childs school life could make Bob Marley  take a Xanax. With the invention of e-mails teachers have now a direct line to get you back for all of the crap our kids are putting them through. It’s just not fair, it’s an unwritten law that teachers get 3 months off a year for letting our kids abuse them for 9. But with e-mail they can now bombard us with……

Math night, Hawaiian day, hat day, Dr. Seuss day, book week, teacher appreciation week, staff appreciation week, teachers birthday, principals birthday.We need you to volunteer at the book fair, give each kid a weeks salary for book fair, instead of book kid brings home 4 pencils, a poster of a unicorn and slime kit. Let’s not forget to put on a poodle skirt for the 50th day, dress up like Grandma for the 100th day, dress up like a corpse for the 150th day, halloween party, thanksgiving party, Christmas party, valentines day party, wear green for st. Patty, Easter egg hunt, field day, bring a board game day, bring a towel and pretend we are on a beach movie day, and the ever popular pajama day. Evening musical concert or play, fundraising carnivals and the gauntlet that is spirit week.

So to all the parents getting ready for a new school year, let’s raise our glasses. Now down it, refill, and raise them again. To the best year ever, let’s enjoy them while we can, because in a few years there will be no more days like these to be annoyed at. Except spirit week. Screw spirit week. Salud!

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