I’m back! It’s been a refreshing 3 week hiatus from challenging my mind to write something people will actually enjoy. I hope I come through.
So I was browsing one of my many emails I no longer need/want (sadly they are the only ones I get anymore) when I came upon one for the TB12 method. For those of you that don’t know about this, it’s following the same set of guidelines for life that Tom Brady does. And since Tom Brady is a God amongst us, it seemed logical to give it a spin. I mean, he’s the only person on Earth both my wife and I would leave each other for.
My goodness. Give me a few minutes to compose myself after that google image search.
The Method…First of all it’s crazy expensive. The book, the workout gear, the diet itself would mean my wife getting another job. I also quickly realized Tom has 34 hours in a day compared to my 24. I love the man and will buy his $45 T-shirts, but that is about as far as my body will take me. Second of all, it’s silly to assume anyone could match that level of greatness. I’ve attempted and failed at many things, but none this quickly. Which got me thinking of my own routine. A method for the stay at home parents, the parents who wants to maximize the happiness of every minute of their day. Since my name is chef Jeff and my number in high school sports (impressive, I know) was #12, I give you…The CJ12 Method.
Step 1 – Mind
The sanity of the stay at home parent is the most important part of the method. Without it you will quickly dissolve at the feet of those cute little monsters. Alcohol is a great way to keep this up. You can also go to the Doctor and get these great pills that will keep a smile on your face for a solid 8 hours. Mix it all together and other people will think you are the parent of the year, putting out fires and absorbing abuse all with a smile on your face! Also, try to mix in an episode of The Sopranos between laundry loads, it’s a nice break and kind of makes you feel like a badass.
Step 2 – Body
The older we get we realize it’s really easy to put on weight, and extremely difficult to get rid of it. I suggest finding an exercise program that you can tolerate or better yet, enjoy. It will keep step 1 in check. Chef knows its tough to not stuff your face with tacos in the bathroom closet in the dark with the doors locked. There will be no judgement. In fact, I encourage the binge every so often. Again, lets keep step 1 happy.
Step 3 – Soul
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…you and I both know this was taken before the kids turned 5.
Step 4 – Survive
We are here for you. Email email@example.com anytime and I will personally talk you off the ledge.