The Time I Set My House On Fire

Yup, you read that right. I set my house on fire. It was an honest mistake, although there are some conspiracy theorists out there who might think otherwise. (I LOVE MY HOUSE NOW, PROMISE!) Let’s rewind to last night before I get into any details….

Not the best look for a guy nicknamed “The Chef,” but it wasn’t my fault! Coach trusted his 4 year old to microwave popcorn, this was the result. I was just being a good fireman. I have gotten extensive experience the past few years in fighting the flames of hell. It all started the day we moved into our new house…

It was a pretty nice Tennessee winter day. A slight chill in the air as I unloaded boxes into my wife’s dream home. Walking in and out of the garage I kept noticing something that I have never owned before, a fire extinguisher. Hung on the wall, a shiny red life saver, I had no idea that in a few hours we would become best friends.

Later that night my family retreated to the Rosen house across the street and I started to put beds together and unbox the madness. I ended up cutting my hand while putting my son’s bed together, so I went into the kitchen to wash the cut. In order to get to the sink I had to move a few boxes, one of those boxes ended up on the stovetop. I went back to putting the bed together not realizing I had nudged the knob with the box and the burner was now on underneath the box.

A few minutes later every smoke alarm in the house started screaming. “What the hell is happening” I thought. So I walk back out into the kitchen and am greeted by a pitch black cloud of smoke with an orange fireball that has now reached the ceiling.

Yes, hilarious fire lady, a fire indeed.

My heart immediatelly dropped into my stomach as I froze at what was in front of me. But then I remembered… I ran as fast as my legs would take me and grabbed the extinguisher out of the garage, came back to the kitchen and emptied that beast on my newly charred kitchen.

If anyone reading has ever sprayed one of these, they know it makes as big of a mess as the fire does. Every inch of my house was coated in a white ashy film. Not to mention the smell of campfire that would end up taking weeks to get rid of. I spent the entire night cleaning the best I could. Knowing if I didn’t, it would be my last night on earth. My Wife was going to kill me. Like, actually stab me with a kitchen knife.

6 hours later I dragged myself into the Rosen home where everyone was still sleeping. My brother in law Trevor was up in his kitchen trying to change a battery in his smoke alarm, which was chirping. I chuckled. He asked me why I reeked of a campfire, so I told him the story.

“Court is gonna kill you”

“I know”

“You should leave town”

Eventually Court woke up and I told her what happened. She was mad at first, but quickly realized the gravity of the situation and saw how shook up I was. I also might’ve had Trevor make sure the front door was unlocked with a clear path to my survival. It was pretty traumatic but I knew it could be fixed, and I was thankful my family wasn’t in the house.

The good folks at Liberty Mutual insurance and Serv-Pro came to assess the damage. One week and $15,000 later our home was back to it’s original glory. Maybe even better, as all the air ducts were cleaned out too. maybe I was a fire fighter in a previous life, or maybe Im just an idiot. Either way it always works out ok. Don’t sweat the moment, keep faith until the end. #Chefwisdom


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