The 50% Rule

Tomorrow my wife, Chelsea, is leaving for a week long jamboree at sea with about fifteen other ladies from her family. It is a well deserved cruise, as she is one of the hardest working people I know. To be fair, I don’t get out much so I don’t know that many people but I still like to imagine she is very hard working. Brownie points!

Before she gets to embarkment day tomorrow, I have to mentally prepare myself to enter a full week of being the only adult influence in my children’s lives. That’s a scary thought alone.

Another scary thought is that this week I will be partaking in something I like to call, “The 50% Rule”. It’s a normal occurrence at my house, but it’s rare that it takes place for more than 8 hours. A full week of The 50% Rule, or T5R for short, is enough to drive a sane man into full blown Tom Hanks Castaway status.

So what is T5R exactly? It’s something us stay at home moms and dads all know is true but rarely discussed. The definition is as followed. Warning, once you know about T5R, it is all you will think about anytime you are alone with your children.

The 50% Rule: Anytime your child rearing partner is not present, you are 50% less likely to get anything accomplished. Especially, but not limited to, basic personal hygiene, dishes, laundry, cleaning, or even normal human levels of critical thinking.

So while the ladies are at sea, I’ll be back home – 50% more likely to be smelling like a dumpster, chasing around my kids and yelling at volleyballs. Bon’ Voyage!

Family

1 Comment Leave a comment

  1. Whenever this happens, I get myself a babysitter. Literally they are there to make sure I don’t have a nervous breakdown. Because I’m 50% more likely to have that happen when I’m the only parent home.

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